He maketh the barren woman to keep house, and to be a joyful mother of children. Praise ye the LORD. (Psalm 113:9, KJV)
*originally written on October 4, 2010
Happiness is a state of mind or feeling characterized by contentment, love, satisfaction, pleasure, or joy.
“Mommy, are you happy?” When she was 3 years old, my daughter asked this from the back seat of our minivan. “Yes, baby,” I quickly responded. A neon-bright smile on my face in the rearview mirror. “Mommy, are you happy?” She asked again the next day at lunch. “Mommy, are you happy?” She asked again a few days later while I was getting her dressed for the day.
Wait a minute. What’s up? At first I thought it was cute. Oh, my baby wants to know if Mommy is happy. She’s so sweet! And yes, she is sweet, but she was asking me the same question repeatedly. Now, let me think. Lord, what’s going on here?
I had a lot on my mind. Most nights, going to sleep felt more like passing out than getting to rest. I was juggling and multitasking so that sometimes I didn’t know if I was coming or going. I was constantly frustrated by my perceived shortcomings. I was pregnant, working a full time job outside the home, taking care of two small children, working in the ministry at church, and trying to be available naturally and spiritually to my husband.
And I was still making the useless comparisons: Grandma raised seven children, kept the house clean, her husband happy, and food on the table. So why are you struggling, girl? Sister So-and-so is married with more children than you; she’s working and her home is beautiful! Why can’t you get it together???
Focused on all these things, I forgot to be happy and stopped smiling like I used to. So when my children saw me, no matter that I was genuinely glad to see them, what they got was a few moments of smiling and then the grim look of a woman who is mentally rolling up her sleeves and cueing up the task list. I was with them physically, but mentally had moved on to the mountain of my cares.
I had weighed myself down with so much unnecessary heaviness that my burden was moving me farther and farther away from the presence of God. But in turning to Him, the Lord brought me to Psalm 16 (read it, it’s beautiful!). Verse 11 reads, “Thou wilt shew me the path of life: in thy presence is fulness of joy; at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore.”
Because of my misplaced focus, I couldn’t see the joy to be had right in front of me. All I saw was the enormity of the task to be accomplished and all the many ways in which I was failing at said task. Even though we are entreated in the Bible to be joyful (1 Thess 5:16; Phil 4:4), I was far too busy being distracted to be happy. But thanks be to God; his presence is like a charger. Spending time with God through the written and spoken word, and in prayer, is like food after a fast. I get reminded of how much he cares for me, what good he has planned for me, and the strength and encouragement that are always available to me. When I get a grip on God, yes, I can rejoice always!
“Thou wilt shew me the path of life: in thy presence is fullness of joy; at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore.”
My children deserve to have a happy mom who is fully present when she’s with them. I’m committed to making that a permanent feature in their lives.
“Mommy, are you happy?” [Therefore my heart is glad, and my glory rejoiceth: my flesh also shall rest in hope.] Yes, honey, I am.
Takeaways:
Application: There is no perfect mother! Every day may not see you rising with the sun, and some days you’ll miss a beat…or two or three or four. Be encouraged! A lackluster day does not define who we are as mothers when our lives exhibit our consistent pursuit of that which will edify our children.
Affirmation: Lord, I desire every good thing for my children. Help me to diligently pursue cultivating a godly character, and please send encouragement for when I’m weak and weary.
Copyright © 2010 by Malaika Geuka Wells
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