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Time To Be Mary

By Malaika Wells

Almost every night, as my head is angling for the pillow, and before I go to sleep, I am mentally reviewing what I accomplished during that day and making a list to guide the next day’s activities. In my mind, if the Lord graces me with another day, I am thinking, I need to get ready for it! Has all the laundry been washed, folded and put away? Do we need milk? Does my husband have any appointments? Do we need more diapers/toilet paper/detergent? What will I cook for breakfast/lunch/dinner? Do I have all the needed ingredients? Where are we going for date night? What are doing for family fun night? Did the children do their devotionals/homework/exercise/chores? Do I need to update the website? Did I check on my mom/grandma/sister/friend this week? And on and on and on. 

Maybe your list looks something like mine. Maybe yours is more extensive, maybe a little less. One thing’s for certain, ladies, we lead busy lives! I recently [complained] to my husband that I am the collective memory for every member of our household. The truth of my statement, I think, was eye-opening for both of us. I am expected to know every appointment and anticipate the needs of each family member as well as know the location of every item in our home at all times. LOL! Except. I’m. Serious. At one time, I felt graced for this work. At the time of our discussion, I’d felt myself growing weary, resentful, and wondering how to get my needs met as I was meeting the needs of our family. What happened?!

This year for my birthday, when my family asked me what I wanted, I asked for a weekend stay at a local hotel. By myself. Sooo…they put me up in a beautiful, mountain resort that my husband had found a great deal for online. I used those two nights to check in with the Holy Spirit. Lord, where am I in this season of my life? From that weekend to today, the Lord has done much to help me lean into the grace and peace that is mine in Him.

Here’s how I’m doing it:

  • Pray! Funny thing, we can say how important it is, read how important it is, know how important it is, and still not do it. Am I right? In this season, I am remembering that I can/should reschedule anything/everything else, but never that. “Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
  • Be grateful. I have very high expectations for myself and others. (I will not, in this article, go so far as to say they are unreasonable…but they might be!) And I recently discovered that I hate to be disappointed. Not like regular folks who meet disappointment with optimism and an “ok what’s next” attitude. More like in a crazy, avoid-it-at-all-costs, because I-can’t-handle-it kinda way. In facing this, the Holy Spirit is reminding me to practice gratitude. No matter the disappointment, I will always have more to be grateful for than to be disappointed about. “Oh, give thanks to the Lord, for He is good! For His mercy endures forever.” 1 Chronicles 16:34
  • Forgive. In the world, there’s lots of kitschy sayings to support the truth of this one, but one, I think is closest to the truth. “To err is human; to forgive, divine.” I have been forgiven much. In this season, the Father is reminding me that even when I think I’m justified, I haven’t earned the right to hold un-forgiveness in my heart. And not only that, but that un-forgiveness is toxic…for me! “…bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do.” Colossians 3:13

Now it happened as they went that He entered a certain village; and a certain woman named Martha welcomed Him into her house. And she had a sister called Mary, who also sat at Jesus’ feet and heard His word. But Martha was distracted with much serving, and she approached Him and said, “Lord, do You not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Therefore tell her to help me.” 

And Jesus answered and said to her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things. But one thing is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken away from her.”

Luke 10:38-42

So sisters, if you, like me, have spent anytime over-tired, frazzled, resentful, spooked, or panicked about the labors of life, it’s time to be Mary. We are valuable, vital members not just of our families, but also of the body of Christ. We must find the time (because, trust me, it’s there) to access the one thing that’s needed for the restoration of peace, hope, and joy and the continuation of the good work God has prepared our hands to do for His glory.  

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